Calvin the Procrastinator
by classicdisney4thewin
Summary: Calvin procrastinates a school assignment as usual. How will his best friend Hobbes help him fudge the project? (note story will not continue, just consider it a oneshot I repeat I will not be continuing this story!)


**Quick Note: I have room to write a story on here since I'm most likely not going to continue my Child's Play story so I decided to write about my favorite comic series, Calvin and Hobbes. Just wanted to say that Calvin and Hobbes is pure genius! I've loved the cartoons for a long time and especially love the comics where Calvin procrastinates school projects and turns them into some sort of excuse for an adventure. Kinda wish I could do that sometimes…So basically each chapter Calvin finds some way to slack off an assignment as he usually does. The story in total will be 10 chapters long equaling a year (minus July and August). Some will be longer than others but with all that said please enjoy!**

**Calvin the Procrastinator **

**September**

Calvin and Susie waited by the bus stop to begin their third week of school. Calvin kicked a rock and watched it roll into the street while Susie flipped through her textbooks and read through history passages.

"Are you ready for the test Calvin? I've been studying all night so I'm sure I'll get a good grade on this"

"Why Susie? Why? Why do you waste your entire life reading dumb old books with no meaning! We should be enjoying ourselves for crying out loud! We shouldn't be forced to sit in an imprisoned chamber for 5 hours, listening to lectures and solving equations with no possible solutions!"

"You forgot about the test didn't you Calvin"

The brainiac slumped his shoulders and pouted.

"If you paid attention in class more and did your homework you might actually learn something useful"

"It's not my fault I can't get homework done! You don't even know what I have to go through every time I walk in my house!"

Susie ignored him and directed herself back to her textbook.

"Hobbes won't stop pouncing on me! Reading my comic books! Stopping me from doing my homework-"

"Calvin stop yelling the school bus is here and everyone can here you!"

At school Miss Wormwood was passing out the four paged exam sheets to each of the students. Calvin skimmed through the questions and groaned loudly.

"This is gonna suck"

"You have exactly one hour to complete your history exam. Once everyone is through we will learn our first few steps into multiplication, begin!"

Everyone grabbed their pencils and began filling out the answers. Calvin stared at question one:

1. Who wrote the Constitution?

(Calvins's) Answer: Probably someone who now has a crippled hand, did you see how long that document is?! Sheesh!

2. Why did the Patriots want to Declare Independence?

Answer: Because their sick and tired of the Colts always winning

3. When was the Battle of Bunker Hill?

Answer: Bunker Hill really? Is there a Bumper Car hill too?

4. Why was the Sugar Act declared?

Answer: So we can buy gum for 10 cents instead of 25

5. What was the purpose of the Second Continental Congress?

Answer: Did we honestly need a first?

Calvin set his pencil aside and looked around the room. Miss Wormwood eyeballed him, sending a chill down his spine. She mouthed the words 'get to work' between her teeth and Calvin immediately picked up his pencil and continued the exam.

_I'm running out of ideas! What's there to do now?_

He scanned his eyes to the wall and found a poster of his favorite prehistoric animals. Calvin's eyes flashed with an idea. For the rest of the test he drew pictures of dinosaurs underneath the answers and wrote a side note: Cannot answer these next 20 questions, dinosaurs are in the way. He made finishing touches to his silly doodles as Miss Wormwood announced everyone to pass forward their tests. The teacher flipped through each student's papers and gave a harsh, disapproving look at Calvin. The boy gulped and gave her a weak smile.

After school Calvin went through the back door, hoping Hobbes wasn't there to pounce on him as usual. The tiger slammed into him as soon as he opened the door a crack.

"I need to convince mom to buy you a dog cage"

Hobbes stretched and yawned.

"Tigers don't need to be kept in captivity, we roam as we please!"

The two walked up into their room as Calvin slammed binders and history books onto his desk.

"You got extra homework?"

"Yeah, Miss Wormwood called me before lunch and we had to talk about my failing grades and study habits"

"And?"

"She gave me an assignment to help boost up my F in history, and the worst part is nobody else in class has to do it but me!"

"Well you are failing" Hobbes rolled his eyes.

"Are you going to help me with the assignment or not?!"

"What is it?" he took a seat next to his friend as he pulled out an instruction sheet.

"I'm supposed to write a mini report about any historical event we've talked about in class, and its gotta be done by tomorrow"

Hobbes scanned through the list and smacked his lips at the Tea Party event.

"Boston Tea Party, now that sounds delicious! Let's do that one!"

"To be honest I was thinking about the Sugar Act since some candy must be involved"

"Doing history?"

Calvin turned around and noticed his dad walking in. He didn't look to happy.

"Your teacher called and left us a message about your F in history"

"Yeah, don't remind me!"

"Well do a good job on this project and you could be one step away from being expelled from high school"

"Hardy har har"

"Maybe you should ask your dad about the Sugar Act" the tiger suggested.

"Great idea, hey dad what's the Sugar Act all about? There's candy involved right?"

"Oh the King was taxing citizen's sugar cubes and so the people started a-"

"Tea Party it is Hobbes"

After about 20 minutes, Calvin and Hobbes stared at a blank sheet of paper with nothing around them. Hobbes held a history book in his paws and scanned through the passage while Calvin played with his pencil.

"How are we going to finish this Hobbes its impossible! We know nothing about the Tea Party"

"All this tea going to waste is making me sick to my stomach, why throw all that into the Harbor what a waste! If only I could go back in time and drink all that tea for them! Then maybe I could have taught them a lesson or-"

"That's it Hobbes you're a genius! We'll go back in time and see the Tea Party for ourselves! That way we can take notes while the event is happening right in front of us!"

"Hey that's not a bad idea…I think…"

"And maybe if I get dad's camera, we can take pictures and make tons of money, and if we make tons of money I can earn an A in class!"

Calvin opened up his closet and brought out his transmogrified cardboard box. He took a black marker and wrote 'Boston Tea Party' on the side. He turned the dial to the event and looked back at Hobbes.

"Open up the window and climb inside! We're going to travel back to the 17th century!"

"If were not back by dinner I'm leaving you behind" the tiger sighed as he opened up the window and climbed inside.

"Get ready for takeoff!"

The cardboard box took off at incredible speed. The two companions soared through the infinite time continuum until they arrived in Boston 1776.

"Wow I can't believe you knew how to get to Boston"

"The only I thing I could stare at throughout those history lectures was that crumby old map of the U.S. at the front of the room. I practically know where every state and city is!"

Calvin and Hobbes climbed out of the transmogrified box and walked down the empty streets.

"Strange there seems to be no one around. Better take out my notebook and pencil just in case something interesting happen"

Calvin rushed back to grab his things while Hobbes looked out into the night sky.

"It's getting dark Calvin you better hope the Tea Party happens soon"

"Oh Henry have you heard?" a pedestrian called out to his neighbor from out the window, "They're throwing a tea party out by the harbor and we're invited!"

The man had a heavy and proper british accent. He spoke in a high pitched voice and couldn't stop grinning with joy.

"A tea party!" the other man exclaimed, "Oh don't mind if I do!"

The two men skipped merrily down the path and toward the Boston Harbor.

"Calvin hurry up! Those two guys said the tea party is happening right now!"

"Great I just got dad's camera too!"

He handed his tiger a notebook and pencil.

"You take notes while I take pictures"

"Hey this is your assignment, why don't you do the writing"

"Well I'm going to have to write the report when we get back anyway. Besides tigers have neater handwriting, and I'm great at photography"

Hobbes stuck his tongue out.

"Your lucky tigers have elegant handwriting!"

"Oh Phillip it's a miracle they are throwing a magnificent tea party do hurry!" another man called out.

Calvin and Hobbes scrambled to their feet and followed the Bostonians. The two finally arrived at the dock where a large ship was docked in place. Hundreds of men had gathered on the boat with barrels and crates labeled tea.

"I read this in your history book", Hobbes explained, "The Bostonians dump all the tea into the Harbor, something about proving a point to King George the Third I think" he scratched his head. Calvin grabbed his camera and aimed it at the ship.

"Get ready to write Hobbes! We're going to be historians because of this!"

The men opened up the boxes and pulled out a large table. They set a nice, lacy tablecloth on the top and laid out dishes, cups, utensils, and tea pots. Calvin began taking pictures.

"Wow this is too cool"

"Wait a minute this can't be right!"

"Don't just stand there Hobbes start taking notes!"

"I can't"

"Why not! They're already starting to pour tea you can't miss this!"

"This isn't how they explained it in your textbook"

"Then we can prove historians wrong once we get these pictures taken"

Hobbes rolled his eyes and jotted stuff down.

After about an hour and a half the two headed back to the transmogrified box.

"What a waste of time" Hobbes groaned.

"Are you kidding?! That was awesome! I can't wait to see the look on my teachers face when she sees these pictures!"

"But you still need to write your paper and it's almost your bedtime, and don't you think that whole thing we just witnessed was a little strange to you? Why would they have an actual tea party? What kind of significance is that?"

"They wanted to prove that they can be just as feminine as girls"

The two headed back home and sat back down at Calvin's desk.

"Well we have about 5 minutes until dinner and then half an hour before bed, let's see your notes"

Hobbes rolled his eyes and plopped the notepad in front of Calvin.

"1. Men apparently like to have tea parties 2. Henry was excited that there was a tea party that evening 3. Historians are wrong about everything that happened in our past…that's it?"

"WELL WHAT ELSE WAS I SUPPOSED TO SAY?!"

"Calvin time for dinner!"

"I'm taking a five hour nap, wake me up and it'll be the last thing you do"

"I can't wait to show mom and dad my pictures!"

The six year old rushed downstairs and plopped down his seat. His mom looked up.

"Gosh Calvin I've never seen you this excited to eat dinner"

"Its not that mom, get a load of these pictures!"

He handed his camera to her.

"Hobbes and I went back in time to witness the Boston Tea Party and found some really intriguing stuff! It was awesome!"

Calvin's mom gave him a bored, sarcastic look.

"You spent the past 3 hours arranging your toys on a plastic ship? How intriguing"

"Hey it's significant!"

After 3 more hours of lazy writing, Calvin was finally done with his report. He crawled into bed next to Hobbes.

"I feel pretty good about the paper don't you?"

Hobbes ignored him and shoved the six year old to the side, both quickly fell asleep without saying another word.

Before recess, Calvin stayed in class with Miss Wormwood to go over the report together.

"Tell me if you like it, oh and be sure to get a good look at the pictures I took! You may as well call me the world's youngest time traveler!"

She glanced at the paper and pictures with a menacing expression.

"Well did you like it?"

She stabbed a long note in red ink at the bottom of his paper and shoved the assignment back to him.

"I'll take that as a no…"

After school Calvin and Hobbes strolled through the woods. The boy had his hands in his pockets and kicked rocks along the way.

"You'll never believe what grade Miss Wormwood gave me!"

"What did you get?"

"An F! An F! The nerve of some people!"

"How could you have possibly gotten an F?" Hobbes asked in a sarcastic tone.

"She said I did no research and didn't believe that we went back in time. Therefore we're right about the Boston Tea Party and she along with all of the brainless historians out there are wrong! I'm telling you I deserved an A! And worst of all I have to redo the assignment!"

"Ler's just not go back in time with your transmogrifier, that thing does nothing but get us into trouble"

"Yeah I guess your right…Maybe I can transmogrifiy myself into a dinosaur so I don't even have to do the report again"

The two looked at each other and rushed back into the house.


End file.
